


Insurance Money

by JayceCarter



Series: Finn and Nora [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Bondage, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, F/M, Hate Sex, I'm Sorry, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Smut, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 03:26:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9580406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: What would happen if Nora didn't let Hancock kill Finn? Well, he pays her a visit that night to collect on the insurance money he feels she owes him. What starts out as being against her will turns into an unhealthy obsession for them both. Can Nora hold onto the things that matter to her, or will her obsession with Finn destroy her and everyone she cares about?**warning: non-con in the first chapter**





	1. Chapter 1

“So, about that insurance.” The voice woke Nora before metal clicked around her wrists.

 

It took her a moment to fully rouse, to see the man.

 

“Finn?”

 

“Bingo.”

 

Nora looked to her left for her gun, but the end table she’d left it on was bare. Her hands were handcuffed together, the link going through the metal headboard to secure her.

 

“Looking for this?” He held up the weapon, grinning.

 

“I should have let Hancock kill you.” Nora grit her teeth as she stared at him.

 

She should have killed the bastard herself. When he’d tried to shake her down at the gate, when Mayor Hancock had been more than ready to kill him, Nora had stepped in. She’d stopped it because she was tired of people dying, but maybe he was one who should have gone.

 

“Probably. But, you didn’t, and now we’ve got a matter to discuss.”

 

“I’m still not paying you anything.”

 

“Come on, don’t be like that. I think you’re going to like what I have on offer.”

 

“What I’d like is for you to give me back my gun so I can shoot you.”

 

Finn chuckled and set the weapon on the dresser across the room from her, way too far for her to reach unless she gnawed off her arm.

 

Which, she might consider.

 

“You know, not too many turn me down.”

 

“I find that hard to believe.”

 

“It’s true.” He sat on the edge of bed, just far enough she couldn’t land a kick. “Most people who stroll through that gate are only too happy to hand off anything in their pockets. I guess it’s the reputation of the town. You though, you didn’t say yes. Even after a good threat, with your little metal friend beside you, you’d sooner put a blade through me than hand over anything else. Got to say, I find that sexy.”

 

“You’re kidding me, right? I mean, if this is your way to get dates, you’re way off buddy.”

 

He ran his fingers over her ankle. “A date? No. I just figured I’d take your insurance payment another way. Pretty thing like you ought to be used to paying this way.”

 

Nora kicked, but she lacked any power in her position. He wrapped his fingers around her ankle, holding it still.

 

“I could scream. You really think Hancock won’t gut you this time? If he doesn’t like extortion at the gate, how do you think he’ll react to this?”

 

“You could scream, but you won’t.” He nodded toward the door. “See that tripwire? Anyone steps foot in here, they’ll be blown to hell. You really want that on your conscious? I bet your synth buddy would get here first. I wonder how much he could lose and still move, hmm? Besides, if you think I can’t take at least a few out before they take me down, you ain’t paying attention.”

 

“It would be suicide.”

 

“Yeah, it would, but I’m betting you’re a hell of a lot more afraid of killing people than I am of dying. You want to test it?”

 

Nora bit down on her bottom lip, trying to think. Nick could disarm the thing, sure, but she knew him. If he thought she were in danger he’d barrel his ass in without thinking twice.

 

“I’ll kill you for this,” Nora promised.

 

“You’ll try, sure. But you’ll be a good girl for right now, won’t you?” He crawled up the bed, his legs on the outside of hers. Nora jerked her leg up, to knee him, but he avoided it and chuckled. “Not too good, though, because what fun is that?”

 

Finn reached down and cupped her breasts, a brazen touch that drew a gasp from Nora. No one had touched her like that, not since her husband had died. Searching the commonwealth, trying to stay one step ahead of the institute and every raider from here to Quincy did that to a person’s love life. He didn’t ease into the touch, didn’t play coy, just grabbed her. “You’ve got one hell of a body, you know that? Reminds me of those stupid old posters, the ones with the Nuka Girl on ‘em. It’s a damn shame you hide it under these baggy clothes.”

 

Finn pulled a blade, and Nora froze. He chuckled. “Now, now. I wouldn’t kill you, not yet at least. I’m not into fucking dead bodies. Course, if you don’t hold very still, I could slice off something you’d miss on accident.”

 

Nora held still, the chill of the knife against her skin as her sliced the front of her shirt. He caught the middle of her bra, and a tug cut that as well. Nora shivered against the chill of the room, telling herself it had nothing to do with him.

 

He slid down further, pinning her legs with his, as he dipped the knife below the button of her pants. A jerk sliced through the fabric. The knife had to be sharp, and more than a little dangerous. Nora wouldn’t be killing him if he ran her through on accident first, so she stayed still.

 

He finished cutting her clothing off, until she laid naked, goosebumps over her skin, metal pulling against her wrists even though she told herself not to move.

 

“Damn, you’re perfect. Where’d you come from? Because I have to tell you, the normal girls we have passing through here are covered in a hell of a lot more scars than you’ve got.”  
Nora refused to answer, pressing her lips together. He wouldn’t get a word from her, not a single thing.

 

“Not up for conversation? That’s fine, I’ve got better things for you to focus on anyway.” He made short work of removing his own clothing, efficient, and Nora jerked her head away. She didn’t want to see.

 

He returned to the bed, straddling her again, his warm skin chasing away the chill of the room. His legs pressed against her hips, his cock, already hard, pressed against her stomach. He ran a finger over her cheek.

 

Nora snapped her teeth at it, wincing when they missed.

 

“Well, guess I’ll be leaving your mouth alone. Wouldn’t want you biting off anything important.” He chuckled as he brushed his thumbs over her nipples. “Good thing there’s plenty else to play with.”

 

He slid down further until he pressed his fingers against the insides of her thighs. She resisted, keeping them pinned together. Finn laughed and dragged a finger over the line where her legs met, drawing shivers from the light touch.

 

“Look at that. Your brain may be up there telling you to fight this, but I think your body has a very different idea. A girl doesn’t shiver like that unless she hasn’t gotten any seeing to in a while. Believe it or not, I’m not too rough, not unless I have to be. You behave yourself and you’d be surprised just how much you might enjoy this.” He leaned down and traced the crease between her legs with his tongue.

 

Nora whimpered at the touch, and gasped when he reached the juncture of her thighs. His fingers returned to her knees, and this time managed to spread them.

 

“Fuck, girl, that’s a sight.” He leaned in and swiped his tongue up her core.

 

Nora pressed her lips together to seal in the sound that wanted to escape at the touch. He was right, she hadn’t been touched, not in a long time. Even though she’d never have picked him, her body didn’t care. A tongue was a tongue, and right then she didn’t have to think, didn’t have to feel bad, didn’t have to justify it.

 

He used his fingers to spread her open, his arms pushing her legs wider, giving him more space. He pressed his tongue against her before slipping his finger into her cunt. “God, you’re tight,” he growled against her. “You not let many men in, huh? Guess they just needed to take the initiative, because you sure do heat up fast. Didn’t take much convincing before you spread these pretty legs for me.”

 

Nora tried to shift away, but he held her hips and latched onto her clit.

 

Nora worked at blanking her mind, at thinking of anything other than the man currently between her legs. Mirelurks, ferals, nothing worked. They all were shoved aside at the pull of his mouth against her.

 

Finn curled the finger inside her and searched, rubbing against her until he found that tiny patch of rough skin. Nora jerking when he touched it clued him in, because he was merciless stroking it.

 

No matter how Nora fought, that edge rushed toward her. He nipped her clit and Nora came on a rush, clenching her teeth to keep silent. He didn’t move, still camped out between her now lax and spread legs, stroking her folds with a gentle hand. One more deep lick and he flashed her a smile.

 

Nora turned her head from the erotic sight, from him, her wetness still on his face.

 

He crawled on top of her, between her legs, and she tensed, ready for him to shove in now. Finn’s hand grasped her chin and pulled her face toward him.

 

“You’re going to beg me to fuck you.”

 

“Never,” she hissed.

 

He laughed and fitted his cock against her folds, so when he moved his hips, it rubbed against her clit. Nora threw her head back at the feeling against her over-sensitive clit. He rocked his hips, driving her high.

 

He rested his weight on one arm, grasping his breast with his other hand. He thumbed the nipple, a hard touch that went straight to her already drenched cunt. She’d just come, but she already felt that edge.

 

“Come on. See what stubbornness got you already? Give in and beg me. No one has to know. Just us here.”

 

Finn slowed his thrusts but pressed harder. She fisted her hands, twisting her body, trying to escape the feeling, make it harder, something.

 

“I’ll fucking kill you,” Nora said instead, as if just saying the words would make her confident, put her back in control of her own body.

 

“Maybe, someday. For now, though, I think you’re going to beg me to fuck you.”

 

Nora gasped, her body no longer hers. She could kill him later. “Please,” she whispered.

 

“Please what?”

 

“Please fuck me.”

 

“You sure? You seemed like you didn’t want it. Wouldn’t want to do anything you didn’t want.”

 

Nora pressed her hips up toward him. “Please, Finn, fuck me. I need it.”

 

He laughed and shifted back a bit before shoving in. He met no resistance, despite her tightness.

 

Nora sucked in a deep breath at the sudden invasion. It didn’t hurt, but it burned, after so long without anything filling her, so long without being touched. He braced himself above her with one hand and set the other on her hip.

 

“You’re a fucking sight, you know that? Could get a guy off just by looking.” He thrust into her hard, deep. “Not that I’d just look. I could tell when you walked in those gate you needed this, wanted this. You keep that metal man because he can’t do this, yeah? You just needed someone willing to remind you exactly what you needed.”

 

His fingers dug into her hips, and Nora wrapped her legs around his waist, trying to press her body against his despite the cuffs. Even as she vowed to kill him, she hated him for being right.

 

She had needed this, the release, the ability to lay back and not worry about a fucking thing beyond her body, beyond his. Months of work toward a goal had left her ignoring every need she had, because falling into them felt selfish. She traveled with Nick because he was safe, because there wouldn’t ever be anything between them.

 

It had taken Finn taking all the power away from her for her to realize how badly she’d ignored her own needs.

 

He pushed her knees higher so he could shove in deeper, enough that she gasped with each thrust, knew she’d be sore by morning. He took his finger and reached between them, stroking her clit again. “Come on, pretty girl. I think you’ve got another in you.”

 

Nora shook her head, but he ignored it. He leaned in, nipped at her earlobe. “Soon as I saw you walk in that gate I wanted to fuck you. Hell, had Hancock not been there I might have tried to bend you over right there to take you. Would you have fought this much? Probably, but I bet you’d have been just as wet when you gave in.” The words filled her head, the idea of him fucking her there, in the middle of Goodneighbor, in front of everyone.

 

Nora yanked hard at the cuffs as she came, her body tightening around him. He shuddered, spilling inside her, his chest pounding.

 

He rested against her, his strength sapped. Nora didn’t struggle, just tried to regulate her breathing. After a moment, he slipped out, soft now, and Nora whimpered at the feeling.

 

“Sorry, sweetheart, I’m not young enough for another go just yet.” He stood and dressed, groaning as he closed his pants. “We will have to do this again sometime.”

 

“If I see you again, I’ll kill you.”

 

He chuckled and kneeled by the door, disarming the trigger. “Maybe. Maybe not. Guess we’ll see.”

 

He opened the door, and Nora yanked at her cuffs. “You can’t just leave me like this.”

 

Finn held the key up. “I could just leave this here, let you stay like that until your metal friend comes and lets you out. You’re a pretty sight, all wet and fucked like that.”

 

“You wouldn’t.”

 

“You really want to say that to me? Because it seems like there’s plenty I’d do.” He laughed and walked back over to her. He leaned forward, pressed his lips against hers, until she bit down on his lip and he drew back. “Maybe I will get to try out that mouth someday, hmm?” He pressed the key into her palm before he rushed to the door.

 

“I’m going to find you.”

 

He smiled from the door. “Oh, I look forward to it.”


	2. Chapter 2

#

Nora watched Finn drinking at the bar. The bastard hadn’t even left town. He’d made himself scarce for a couple weeks, but that was it. He stood at the bar laughing, like nothing had happened. He clearly hadn’t taken her threat seriously.

 

“He give you more trouble, sister?” Hancock sat beside Nora, like he always did when she was in town.

 

Nick had no great love for Goodneighbor, and spent his time hiding in their room. Hancock took his place as guide, always quick to offer chems, alcohol, or debauchery.

 

“Who?”

 

Hancock laughed and nodded at Finn. “He’s been quiet, you know? Been behaving himself a lot more than is usual for him. You have anything to do with that?”

 

“Not a clue.”

 

Finn downed the rest of his beer before turning. He hadn’t spotted her, hadn’t paid her any attention. He left the Third Rail.

 

“He staying at the Rexford?”

 

“No. He takes the top floor of the warehouse next to the Memory Den. You thinking of paying him a visit?”

 

“Oh yeah.”

 

Hancock laughed. “I’ll pull the neighborhood watch off that corner. Try to keep the screaming down, though, okay? Finn isn’t liked, but no one wants to hear someone dying. It drives down moral.”

 

#

 

Nora crept into the warehouse. She’d cleared the scum from these already, but it seemed new scum had moved in.

 

At the top floor, Finn stood in front of the stove. He’d taken off his shirt, the first time Nora got to really appreciate the expanse of his back. Criminal low life or not, he’d done his fair share of fighting if his skin was any indication. Scars, most old and faded, covered his skin. He worked at the stove, cooking something, though Nora couldn’t tell what.

 

She moved forward, pulling her knife. In one motion she pressed it against his ribs, just behind his heart. If she were taller, she’d have pressed it against his throat, but the action would have left her too exposed given their height differences.

 

“I told you I’d kill you.”

 

“You haven’t yet.” His voice still had that same damned confidence, the underlying amusement that went to her cunt even when she wanted to pretend it didn’t. “You been thinking about our night? Because I sure as fuck have.”

 

Nora shoved him toward the couch, keeping the blade against him, a warning. One quick jerk and he’d need more than a stimpack to survive. She grabbed the cuffs she’d hooked to her belt and bound his hands behind him before knocking him backward. He fell onto the couch, sitting, looking so damned smug.

 

“You kept the cuffs? A little memento of our time together? You know, I’ve thought about how wet and tight you are, how good you taste, every fucking night. My hand is a piss poor substitute. Hell, even the couple of women who were more than willing didn’t scratch that itch. You, girl, are hard to forget.”

 

“You’re handcuffed and I have a knife. You really want to push me over the edge here?”

 

“I remember the last time you were handcuffed and at knife point, and as I recall, it worked out pretty damned well for you. Come on, sweetheart, if you wanted to kill me you could have done it already. Don’t try to bluff with a liar and a cheat, because I can read your tells a mile away. You want us to play this stupid game? Go ahead, I’ll play. I force you, you force me, and you get to walk away feeling morally superior, even as my cum drips out of you. But, yeah, you’re better than all this, right?”

 

Nora slapped him across the face, the action surprising even her. She wasn’t violent. She killed people when she had to, to protect herself, but she didn’t lash out. Still, his words stung.

 

He laughed, a low and deep rumble in his chest. His tongue darted out and caught a drop of blood welling on his lip. “Come on, now. I’ve been hard since I saw you. I know what you’re here for.”

 

Nora slid the knife into the sheath at her waist and reached for his pants. Finn spread his legs, the smile on his face infuriating.  She ignored it, yanking at his leathers until they came off, and fuck if he hadn’t been telling the truth. He was hard, the tip already leaking pre-cum, almost throbbing. She hadn’t gotten a good look at him last time, and if she hadn’t been so angry this time she might have savored the sight more.

 

She grasped his cock, and he hissed, a sound that only made her wetter. She straddled his waist, her thighs on the outside of his legs, angling him toward her hole.

 

“Don’t even need any foreplay, huh? Bet you were soaked the moment you saw me, the moment you thought about this.”

 

She dropped herself down onto his length, shuddering at the way he filled her. “Shut up,” she snapped at him.

 

“Why? You love my filthy mouth. You think I didn’t feel the way your cunt tightens when I talk to you? I pay close attention, pretty girl, and I know how it gets you off.”

 

Nora caught his gaze, the burn in his eyes, that stupid grin on his lips. She put her hands on his shoulders and dug her nails in while she rode him. “Don’t you dare come, or I swear I’ll cut you to piece.”

 

“I’m nothing if not a gentleman. I can hold out as long as you need me to,” He leaned forward to catch a kiss but Nora shoved him back again.

 

She closed her eyes, closing him out, wanting to pretend she was with someone else. Why was she here? With him? Because it was easy, because it was wrong, because it was the only thing in her life she did for her and no one else. This wasn’t about Nate, or about Shaun, or about the Commonwealth. It was about her and she hated it and loved it at the same time.

 

Nora brought one hand between them, felt the way his cock slid into her before she found her clit, before she began to rub at it.

 

“That’s it, girl.” He growled. His eyes were locked down on her hand, on the glimpses of him slipping into her. “I know those little gasps, fuck, I dream of those little gasps. You’re almost there, aren’t you? Didn’t take you long. I bet I could have gotten you off with one good lick, yeah?”

 

Nora sped her fingers, reveling in the way her body responded. He lifted his hips, adding power to drive deeper into her.

 

“God damn, you’re a pretty sight,” he muttered, and she came as the way his voice rasped.

 

Nora stopped moving, panting, sweat matted in her shirt. His chest glistened from his own sweat as he stayed perfectly still, only the twitching of his still hard cock telling her what he wanted.

 

Too fucking bad for him.

 

Nora pulled off him, shuddering at the way he pressed against her walls. “Well, thanks for that.”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You ain’t leaving me like this.” At least he’d lost the smugness on his face for a moment.

 

“But you look so pretty all wet and fucked.” She threw back his own words at her. “I’ll see you around.”

 

He chuckled again and shook his head. “Count on it.”


	3. Chapter 3

Nora stood in Diamond City, Mel having already run off back to Bobbi’s. The job didn’t feel right.

 

Nick ground his cigarette butt into the dirt. “You sure about this, Doll?”

 

“Yeah,” Nora lied.

 

Breaking into the Diamond City strong room filled her with a sort of excitement she hated to admit to. Truth was, Diamond City wasn’t her favorite place. Despite Nick’s love for the town, probably some sort of screwed up Stockholm’s syndrome, Nora couldn’t stand it. She’d bought a place there, since the market couldn’t be beat, but damn she hated it.

 

Taking them down a few pegs sounded good to her, even though Bobbi was as trustworthy as a feral.

 

“Alright. Well, I’m gonna check in with Ellie before we get going. Meet you at your place in an hour?”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

Nora sold off her extra gear, ignored Myna’s crazy ramblings, then went back to her own place. Home Plate was big, especially by Diamond City standards, but mostly empty. Decorating had never been her forte.

 

As soon as she closed the door behind her, she found her face smashed against the metal.

 

“Hey there,” rasped Finn in her ear.

 

And didn’t that rile her up already?

 

“You attacking me here? In my house? Pretty confident of you.”

 

He drug his tongue along the edge of her ear, then bit down on the lobe. “Sorry, but we don’t have time for that. Good ole Nicky will be back soon, and I like to take my time with you.” He pulled her pistol and threw it across the room, then did the same with her blade.

 

He turned her to face him, then shoved her to her knees.

 

“Careful, I bite,” she whispered.

 

He laughed, then grabbed a baton off her weapons bench. “Guess I’ll let you keep your mouth busy with this, then.” He pressed it against her lips.

 

Nora refused to open her mouth, until he pushed his foot between her legs and rubbed against her. She gasped, and he took advantage, slipping the baton into her mouth.

 

It felt strange against her tongue, hard, plastic, but not unpleasant. He moved it, careful not to push it too far back. “Come on, let’s get your mouth working so I can talk to you without worrying about you interrupting.”

 

He continued to rub his foot against her, the pressure nice but only enough to tantalize her. She gave up, closing her lips around the baton and started to work it.

 

“Now that’s a good girl,” he purred. “Look, you may not know much about Goodneighbor, but let me clue you in. Bobbi isn’t the sort you want to get mixed up with.”

 

Her brows furrowed. How the fuck did he know about that?

 

“Yeah, I know pretty much everything that happens in that town. You might love it when I fuck you, but I can assure you that when she does it, you won’t leave so happy. Bobbi loves caps, and she’ll screw over anyone to get them. You keep going with her, you’re going to find yourself on the wrong side of a loaded weapon, probably hers.” Finn ran his fingers over her cheek while she continued to suck on the baton.

 

He sped the thrusting of the weapon, but kept it shallow. “Fuck, that’s hot. Maybe someday I’ll trust your mouth enough. Bet you’d love that, huh? You’re working that piece of plastic like it’s me. You thinking that’s what it is? You imagining it’s me pushing in, fucking your face?” He crouched down and stuck his other hand down her pants. His fingers shoved into her. “Come on, ride my fingers. You’re damned lucky you look so good right now, I’m even willing to forgive last time.”

 

Nora lifted her body a hair, moving against his hand, trying to grind herself to the orgasm that had started as soon as he’d shoved her against that wall.  He used his palm against her clit as he pumped his fingers into her, hard, knowing exactly how to touch her.

 

“If it were me, I’d be a lot further in. I’d wrap my hands in your hair and shove myself down your throat. Make you swallow every inch.” He hissed the words into her ear, and it was enough. She shuddered through her release.

 

Finn pressed a kiss to her forehead and removed his hand from her pants. “Remember what I said, because I like having you around. Hate to see you get yourself killed.” He pulled the baton from her mouth, an obscene, wet pop as she released it, then hooked it to his belt. “You enjoyed this. I think I’ll hold onto it for next time.”

 

“I’ll-“

 

“-kill me. Yes, I know. Just keep yourself alive long enough to try, hmm?”

 

#

 

Nora tried to ignore the way Nick looked at her. He always saw too much, and finding her flushed and agitated when he’d returned had been the topic of discussion throughout the day.

 

Still, they’d met Bobbi, followed her directions. The further they went, the more Nora thought about what Finn had said.

 

Was Bobbi betraying her? Nora kept her pistol ready, kept the woman in her vision.

 

And wasn’t she pissed now that Bobbi had a weapon pulled on her, and Hancock’s body guard and her buddies had two miniguns pointed at her. Worse than the fact she didn’t think she’d live through this, she hated that Finn had been right. They hadn’t been digging toward Diamond City, but toward Hancock’s personal stash. If Fahrenheit didn’t kill Nora, Hancock would.

 

“There are still a ton of caps on the line,” Bobbi said. “Help me kill them and they’re all ours.”

 

“You lied to me Bobbi, you have to pay.”

 

“This isn’t the way this is supposed to go,” Bobbi snarled as she stepped backward.

 

Nora went for her own gun, but she wasn’t stupid. Bobbi had the jump on her. Fuck Finn for being right, and her for not listening.

 

A bullet tore through the room, and Bobbi crumpled into a heap. Nora pulled her weapon toward where the shot came from, but found only a glimpse of leather.

 

Finn?

 

She shook her head. Couldn’t have been.

 

“A friend of yours?” Fahrenheit nodded toward the window where the figure had been.

 

“No idea.”

 

“No matter. Hancock will be happy pleased to know where you’re loyalties lie. You should go pay him a visit. It’s best to stay on Hancock’s good side.”

 

 “Not sure the Mayor has a good side,” Nick muttered, his eyes wary.

 

#

 

Nora left the statehouse, Hancock on her heels. He’d wanted to come with her, and Nick had gotten a tad preachy as of late, so the change seemed like a good idea.

 

“Wait here,” Nora snapped as she locked eyes on Finn, leaning against the wall beside Daisy’s shop. Hancock hung back while Nora walked up to the smiling asshole.

 

“Should have taken my advice,” he said.

 

“Was that you?”

 

“Was that me?” He put an innocent face on, but Nora knew the smirk in his voice.

 

“Why would you save me?”

 

He shrugged. “Believe it or not, I like you. I like whatever it is we have going. Not real keen on letting it get fucked up because Bobbi wants to screw over Hancock, even if that bastard has it coming.” He looked over Nora’s shoulder, toward where Hancock stood. “Speaking of which, you find a new stray to follow you?”

 

“What I do isn’t your business.”

 

“You sure? Because you and I, we seem to keep coming back to each other. Whatever we got, it doesn’t want to let either of us go.”

 

“Stay away from me.”

 

He chuckled. “Come on, sweetheart. You know it’ll take you a week before you’re ready to beg me again. You come find me when that happens.”

 

Nora curled her fist, but held it still. He didn’t even deserve that. She stormed back over to Hancock.

 

“You and Finn buddies now?” Hancock smoked while he cocked up an eyebrow.

 

“No. Not exactly.”

 

“You’re that sort of buddy, then? Got to say, sister, I pegged you for a girl with better taste.”

 

Nora fought her desire to look over her shoulder, terrified he was right, that she would end up right back with him and it would be her own damned fault. “So did I.”


	4. Chapter 4

Nora paced the room, ignoring the way Deacon watched her. She’d gotten rid of Hancock quickly, between his need to return to Goodneighbor and their constant chem breaks, nothing got done. Deacon was efficient, funny, and not bad to look at.

 

Not that any of it helped when Finn’s words cycled through Nora’s head. It had been a ten days, and yeah, she wanted to return. Killing Kellogg, finding out Shaun was with the Institute, it had all gotten to her, added to the mounting tension. They were camped out at the Rexford with some bullshit excuse of meeting a source, but the eyeing Deacon gave her told her he didn’t believe a word of it.

 

Leave it to a liar to call out another liar.

 

“I’ve got an errand to run,” Nora said.

 

“You going to tell me what this is fun little outing is actually about?”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

He smiled, staring at her through his glasses. He called her a liar with the look.

 

“Sure, sure. Go on then, I’ll see you later.”

 

Nora left the room and stumbled through the streets a while. She wasn’t ready to admit yet why she’d come, that she needed to see Finn.

 

She’d dreamed of him every night, woke up covered in sweat, moaning his name.

 

Fuck, he was right. There was something there, something wrong and twisted and she gripped whatever it was with all her strength.

 

It was still the only thing that was so incredibly wrong and all hers. It felt like the only real thing in her life, the only thing no one else was trying to steal from her. And after everything with Shaun? She needed it.

 

She steered her way to the Third Rail. Maybe some alcohol or something stronger would keep her still, keep her from him. She felt like she’d leapt off a cliff and now was trying to stop the plunge. She’d showed up here for no other reason, but still wanted to pretend it wouldn’t happen.

 

The sounds of Magnolia singing, of the people down the stairs, they dug into her. She didn’t want to be there.

 

Nora turned and walked into the bathrooms instead. She gazed into the grimy mirror.

 

What the fuck was she doing?

 

She could be anywhere. She had friends all over the place who’d take her in, spend time with her. Nick, Hancock, Deacon, Preston, hell, even Danse would have a beer with her if she needed it. So what was she looking for in Goodneighbor? In a filthy bathroom, only wasting time until she went and found the last man she needed to be around. Why would she leave behind everything she had to seek out Finn?

 

His face appeared behind her in the mirror, almost like she’d spawned him from her memory. He didn’t touch her, just stood there.

 

“What are you waiting for?” Her voice cracked.

 

He tilted his head, as if trying to figure something out.

 

“Go on, then. We both know how this goes.”

 

He still didn’t move, didn’t say a word.

 

Nora turned to face him, having to look up. “What?”

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

He touched her cheek, his fingers catching a tear. “You’re crying.”

 

She jerked away from his touch. “So? What do you care?”

 

He laughed, the sound lacking the snark she’d grown used to, the edge. He slid his hand behind her neck and pulled her against him. He took her mouth, a deep kiss, and for a moment she forgot to resist, to do anything but feel it. She kissed him back, clinging to that touch. Everything else sank away, became unimportant. He didn’t shove her, didn’t grope her, didn’t force anything more on her, only kissed her.

 

He ended the kiss, tracing his tongue against her lips. “Go get some sleep, sweetheart. We can do this another night.”

 

He turned around and Nora pulled her pistol. She unloaded a shot into the wall beside his head. “Why?”

 

He looked over his shoulder at her. “Because what you need tonight, you don’t want from me.”

 

Nora fired a second shot, still missing him.

 

“Please,” she whispered.

 

Finn stopped. His hands drew into fists, and he let out an empty laugh. “Please what?”

 

“Please fuck me. That’s what you want, right? You want me to beg you. You told me I would, and here I am, doing it, just like you said.”

 

He turned around, the movement slow. His lips pressed together, a tight line that reeked of unhappiness. “You want me to fuck you in a filthy bathroom while you’re crying? Really?”

 

She put the pistol back in its holster and shoved his shoulders. “Yes. I didn’t think it would bother you.”

 

“Of course you didn’t.” He shook his head but pulled her against him again. He grabbed her thighs and yanked them up, around his waist.

 

A sharp pain in her thigh distracted her. Nora looked down to see a needle sticking out of her leg.

 

“What the fuck?” She yanked away from him, stumbling, her head getting fuzzy.

 

Finn leaned down in front of her. “Like I said, what you need, you don’t want from me, and what I can give you, isn’t going to do shit for you tonight. So, you get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow you’ll be feeling better. And, pretty girl, take some mentats in the morning; you' ll have a hell of a headache.”

 

Nora’s eye fluttered closed.


	5. Chapter 5

Nora groaned at the sun.

 

“That’s what you get for taking too many chems.”

 

“Shut up, Deacon.”

 

“I would, but we’re late. Not all of us have the chance to take detours for one night stands.”

 

Nora cracked an eyelid to see Deacon, his face smiling but tense. “What?”

 

“Oh, come on. There’s no way there was any other reason to come here than for you to pick someone up. Gotta say, Charmer, I’d expect more from you.”

 

Nora drug herself to a sitting position, her head throbbing. She pressed her palms against it, whimpering. She replayed the night before.

 

Finn had drugged her.

 

She patted her clothing, but everything was in order. She felt no soreness that said anything more had happened. When her hands floated over her pocket, she felt something inside.

 

Mentats.

 

Nora laughed, no real humor in it.

 

“You know, next time you can just ask me.”

 

“What?”

 

Deacon shrugged, like it didn’t matter to him. “Instead of getting high and picking up random men who might kill you, you could just ask me.”

 

“To fuck me?”

 

“Yeah. It doesn’t have to mean anything more, just a basic need, and it’s a hell of a lot safer with me.”

 

Nora popped the mentats, grateful when the headache started to recede. “I’ll remember that,” she said, willing the odd conversation to end.

 

Deacon laughed, the one that always put her to ease. “Do that. Now, why don’t you wash up because you stink, then we can get on our way.”

 

Nora stared at her hands, trying to figure the night before out.

 

Whatever that had been, she shoved it aside. She sure as fuck wouldn’t be going over to see him that morning. She’d swing back through in a few days, maybe a week.

 

Maybe by then she’d have figured something out.

 

Maybe not.

 

#

 

It had taken Nora two weeks to get back, and going back had more to do with her throwing up her guts than anything else.

 

If she had to stay in bed under Dr. Sun’s care, she’d have shot the idiot doctor. Dr. Carrington, she would have shot herself. Dr. Amari was the only one she could stand enough to willingly subject herself to treatment.

 

“How’s my favorite invalid?” The cheer in Deacon’s voice grated on her nerves.

 

“Well, I haven’t thrown up in a few hours, so I think I’m on the mend.”

 

“And what have we learned?”

 

“That you all have been permanently fucked by radiation.”  

 

He grinned and leaned over her. “That’s right! And you, my special little vaultie, have yet to have that pleasure, which means you trekking into the Glowing Sea with a few packs of rad-x is like you walking into a frat party with a thing of Fuzzy Navels. You’re going to get a lot more than you bargained for.”

 

“Do you always have to bring down the class in any room you’re in?”

 

He sat in the chair beside her bed. “Yeah, I do. Look, I talked to good old Amari, and she says you’ve got another day here before you should be fine, but suggested you take a couple days of rest in Goodneighbor before you run off to poke Deathclaws with sticks. Also, I think she has a poor understanding of exactly what we do.”

 

Nora laughed, even though it hurt her side.

 

Yeah, Deacon was good company. Not to mention he’d drug her ass back here after she’d collapsed on the way back from Virgil’s. She had to count herself lucky for that. Had she taken MacCready with her, he might have just riffled through her pockets and left her for dead. At least the spy had kept her alive and gotten her help.

 

“Thanks, D.”

 

His face turned serious, a look that didn’t quite fit. “Of course, Charmer. Don’t do that again, though, you scared the shit out of me.” As quickly as it had left, that damned smile came back. “And you’re the first partner who hasn’t tried to shoot me, so I feel like we have a good thing going.”

 

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ve got to go see a man about a horse. I’ll be back by tonight. You need anything, well, you’re screwed because I’m not going to be here.”

 

Nora closed her eyes and chuckled while he walked out.

 

Footsteps came back into the room. “I thought you were leaving.”

 

“But I just got here,” came Finn’s voice.

 

Nora opened her eyes to see Finn standing at the foot of the bed. “I don’t have the energy for this.”

 

He put his hands up, trying to look innocent. “I aint doing anything but checking in. First time you’ve been awake since you got here.”

 

“Radiation poisoning is exhausting.”

 

“I bet. I heard you went to the Glowing Sea. Not the smartest idea you’ve had.”

 

“No. I’d put it right up there with whatever we have going on.”

 

“Ouch.” He didn’t sound hurt as he sat in the chair Deacon had been in. “At least pretty boy drug you home okay. Guess I won’t kill him, then.”

 

“This isn’t home.”

 

“It could be.”

 

Nora used what little energy she had to glare. “I don’t think whatever this is ends with a white picket fence.”

 

He laughed and shook his head. “You’re probably right. People like us, we don’t settle. We don’t end up in nice places with kids and farms and shit. We collide until we destroy each other. But that sounds like one fucking amazing ride, don’t it?”

 

And Nora knew he was right. That was exactly what they were doing, wasn’t it? They were picking each other apart. He may have started it, but Nora was the one who kept coming back, kept wanting for whatever this was. Maybe that’s why she wanted it, because it was easy and hard, it was killing her and she needed that. It was stupid and reckless and the only place she got to be those things.

 

“So you went the Glowing Sea to find Virgil?”

 

“How did you know that?”

 

“Turns out you’re chatty when you’re delirious. Got answers to a lot of questions. Like you’re from a vault. Guess that explains that perfect skin, huh?”

 

“Get out.”

 

“But I brought you a gift.” He held up a box.

 

“I don’t want whatever that is.”

 

Finn chuckled and set it on the table beside her. “You will. But, it seems I’m upsetting you, and you still need to recover your strength.” He stood, but leaned in beside her ear. “Because I plan to use up all that strength just as soon as you can take it.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Deacon walked beside Nora as they strolled the alleyways of Goodneighbor. She was better, but her stamina left something to be desired. Amari had said that plenty of easy exercise would get her back into shape fast.

 

“And this alleyway is another in that lovely shade of filth. You see, here in Goodneighbor, we like keeping things in the same color scheme. It helps with the overall cohesion of the town.”

 

Nora bumped her shoulder into Deacon’s, shaking her head at his jokes. He’d been by her side most of her recovery, both under Amari’s care and the last two days in the Statehouse. She could have stayed at the Rexford, but Hancock had demanded she use a spare bedroom there. Of course, either Deacon or Hancock had found their own fun by supplying her with dresses to wear around town rather than her normal gear. The green one she wore then was better than the red sparkly one, a replica of what Magnolia wore, that Hancock had tried to get her into.

 

The gift from Finn remained inside that box, unopened, and in the chest in her room. She’d caught glimpses of him from time to time, but he’d said nothing to her, hadn’t approached her.

 

Maybe being in the Statehouse had its benefits?

 

Nora sighed and leaned against the dumpster at the far end of one of the alleys.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah. I guess I didn’t realize how worn out I got.”

 

Deacon walked up and set his hands on her hips. “Come on, up you go.”

 

Nora rolled her eyes and hopped up to sit on the top of the dumpster, Deacon helping her. “Great, now I’m sitting on a filthy dumpster.”

 

“Just roll with it. You can’t get this sort of ambiance in Diamond City.”

 

Nora expected Deacon to pull back, but he didn’t. He left his hands on her hips, his body between her legs. It was new, but not terribly unexpected. His thumb rubbed gentle circles over her hip, through the fabric of the dress.

 

“This okay?” His voice was calm, but quiet, like he didn’t want to frighten her away.

 

Nora nodded, but no words came out.

 

It felt, wrong. Peaceful, and sweet, and really fucking wrong. And worse was the way Deacon looked at her, even through those sunglasses, like she was something special.

 

He leaned in and ghosted a kiss over her lips, slow, gentle as he did everything else.

 

Nora didn’t do gentle, though. Gentle turned her stomach. Gentle made her think of the old world, of laying in bed with Nate and making love into the morning. Gentle died the day the bombs fell.

 

Deacon slid the hand from her hip along her leg, then up under the hem of her dress. He broke the kiss and pressed his lips to her jaw. “You have any idea how long I’ve been thinking about this?”

 

Nora said nothing, wrapping her arms around his neck, digging her nails against his skin to urge him on.

 

“We can slow down, head back to the room.”

 

“No. Here.”

 

Deacon pulled away, frowning at her. “Never figured you for a girl into getting herself caught.”

 

Nora wrapped her fingers into his shirt and pulled him back against her. “Show me just how much you’ve been thinking about this,” she whispered and kissed him again.

 

Deacon seemed to snap, deepening the kiss, kissing her like Finn never did. He tangled his tongue with hers, licked into her mouth, and it all felt good, but it didn’t feel the same.

 

Nora unhooked his pants, shoving at them. Deacon reached one hand behind her ass and pulled her forward, until her was pressed against him. He slipped his fingers into her, releasing a groan against her lips. “God, Nora, you feel amazing.”

“Come on, D. I’m not fragile, show me what you’ve got.” Nora nipped at his bottom lip.

 

Deacon pulled her panties aside, not bothering to remove them, and slid into her. He didn’t thrust hard, didn’t take her with the intensity Finn did, almost as if afraid of hurting her. Nora wrapped her legs around his waist to get him to do more, but he kept up his movements.

 

One of his hands drifted up between them, palming her breast through her dress, brushing his thumb against her nipples.

 

She was getting nowhere fast.

 

Something was missing. Or maybe something was there that shouldn’t be. Nora thought about the Railroad, and the Minutemen, and the Institute, and the Brotherhood. She thought about Shaun, and about Nate, about every person who wanted something from her, just like Deacon, and everything she should be doing instead of being here. Deacon was just a connection to all the fucking things the world wanted to tear away from her.

 

Nora’s gaze lifted in frustration, until she caught sight of a figure through the far window.

 

Finn.

 

He watched her, his lips quirked in a half smile, shoulder leaning against the window frame like he had no plans to go anywhere else.

 

He cocked up an eyebrow, as if to mock her for the frustration all over her face.  

 

Nora dug her nails into Deacon’s shoulders, knew she’d drawn blood. Deacon shuddered as he came, resting his head against her shoulder. He lifted his head enough to press kisses to her neck, her jaw, up to her lips, like rewarding her, reassuring her.

 

“You okay?” He asked. “Was that okay?”

 

Nora nodded, her throat tight. “Yeah.”

 

He didn’t seem to believe her, but he didn’t push. He helped her off the dumpster, wrapping an arm around her.

 

The Memory Den caught Nora’s attention, and the warehouse beside it. She stilled against Deacon’s guiding hands. “I think I’m going to stop in and see Amari,” she said, keeping her face blank.

 

“Why? Are you not feeling too well?” He hesitated. “Was I too rough?”

 

Nora struggled not to react to the question, to the way it heated her cheeks. “No, nothing like that. I haven’t been sleeping well, sweating at night a lot, and I want her to check my numbers again.”

 

“Alright. I’ll go with you.”

 

Nora shook her head and pulled away from him. “No. It’s okay. I think I just need a little bit of time to think, okay?”

 

“Do you regret it?”

 

“No. I just-“ Nora paused, wanting to be honest. “It’s new and I need to think about it.”

 

Deacon nodded and took a step backwards. “Yeah, alright. Well, if you need me, you know where I’ll be.”

 

Nora waited until he disappeared into the Statehouse before she reached for the door to Finn’s place.


	7. Chapter 7

Finn was on the top floor, just as he had been the last time she’d gone there. He leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, looking so much like he had the day she’d walked into Goodneighbor. That felt like a lifetime ago.

 

“Are you mad?”

 

He laughed. “No, sweetheart, I’m not mad. I’m not the jealous type. You said yourself, we aren’t headed for a white picket fence. Monogamy bullshit is for people a lot better than us.” He pushed off the wall and walked over until he stood right in front of Nora, so close she struggled to keep from taking a step back. “Besides, hard to be mad when you looked so damned miserable. Pretty boy not doing it for you? I’ve seen people look like they’re having more fun when clearing out radroaches.”

 

Nora shuddered at his proximity, at the way he drew her in. What was it about him? About them? Why couldn’t Deacon make her feel this way? “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

He kneeled in front of her, dragging his hands up the outsides of her thighs, under her dress. He pulled her underwear off. “I know you didn’t come for him. You think, even from that distance, I wouldn’t be able to tell?”

 

He pushed his fingers against her cunt, and Nora jerked backward. His other hand locked on her waist to keep her still. She was wet, from the sex and from Deacon’s come.

 

“Stop that,” Nora said.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it’s. . . wrong.”

 

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her hip, through the dress. “Yeah, probably, but is there anything about us that isn’t wrong? You think this bothers me? It doesn’t mean shit to me. You’re here. Pretty boy wanted you to go back to the room with him, but you didn’t; You came here. The fact he fucked you means fuck-all to me.” He pressed a kiss to her other hip. “So, what do you want?”

 

Nora frowned. “I want you.”

 

He looked up at her, an eyebrow raised. He pressed his fingers into her harder, and she winced. “Not sure you’re up for another round, sweetheart.”

 

“Please,” she whispered. “I need you.”

 

He smiled, stood, and grabbed her legs. He wrapped them around his waist, supporting her by holding her ass. He walked them through the doorway to his room, and laid her back on the bed. He towered over her as he pulled off his shirt.

 

“Did you open the gift yet?”

 

Nora shook her head.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Are we going to just talk?”

 

He sighed and pulled his pants off, then crawled on top of her. “Open the present, pretty girl.” He pressed his fingers against her knees until her legs fell open. The chill of the room hit her slit, wet still, and she shivered.

 

“You are a sight. You hurt too much, tell me. I’ve got some med-x.”

 

“Just fuck me,” Nora groaned as she hooked her heels around his waist, trying to pull him closer.

 

“Greedy girl,” he laughed before pushing into her.

 

Nora gasped at the feeling, at everything that had been missing with Deacon. She didn’t think of anything else, nothing beyond Finn’s body and hers. None of the rest of the bullshit that filled her life existed.

 

He leaned in and nipped at her neck. “That’s the look I like. When pretty boy fucked you, you didn’t have this look, all breathless and needy.”

 

“His name is Deacon.”

 

This time he bit harder, but soothed the spot with his lips. “Don’t care what his name is. I just care that you’re here, now.”

 

He reached between them and found her clit. Nora whimpered at the touch, at the efficiency he had with bringing her to that edge. “I missed this. Been too long since I’ve gotten to slide inside you, since I felt your cunt squeezing around me. You should try to fuck pretty boy more often if it sends you here afterward.”

 

Nora raised her hips to meet his thrusts, her hands holding onto his small back, trying to crawl inside him, to cling to this feeling.

 

“You know what I want.” He nipped at her ear, and Nora came. It took him a few more thrusts before he joined her, spilling into her.

 

He rolled to the side, pulling her against him.

 

Nora slowed her breathing, Finn’s body keeping the chill away. After a moment, she tried to pull away.

 

Finn tightened his arm around her. “Stay.”

 

“What?”

 

“Stay with me, just for tonight. You can go back to pretty boy in the morning.”

 

“I can’t stay.” Nora shook her head and pried his arms off her. “That isn’t what we’re doing.”

 

“So you just came so I could fuck you? Now you’ll run back to him?”

 

“I thought you said you weren’t jealous.”

 

Finn’s eyes darted away. “I’m not. Not about the sex. I don’t care who you fuck; I just wanted you to stay. Is that so bad?”

 

Nora stood, wetness tracking down her leg making her feel ill for a moment. “I’m not going to stay.”

 

“Of course not. You don’t want to stay. You don’t want to open my fucking gift. You don’t want anything from me except my cock, right?”

 

“Funny thing coming from you, considering our first time.”

 

“You’re right. Guess I shouldn’t complain too much when you fuck me back, yeah? Gotta say, getting used sort of sucks.” He picked up a bottle off the side table, then chucked it at the wall behind Nora. It shattered, and she felt drops of whatever had been inside splashing on her arm. “Go on, then. Pretty boy is waiting, I’m sure.”

 

#

 

Nora slid into the room in the Statehouse, hoping Deacon had already gone to sleep. She’d only been gone an hour, but she felt filthy. She needed to wash up, to scrub her brain, to perform a damned lobotomy on her fucked up head.

 

“You feeling better?” Deacon’s voice was flat.

 

“Not really, no.” Nora sat in the chair across the table from Deacon.

 

His eyes locked on her neck. Nora reached up and touched it, felt the skin. Finn had left a bitemark. Deacon said nothing, just stared. Finally, he broke the gaze and stared down at his hands.

 

“Look-“

 

He cut her off. “-don’t worry about it.” He plastered a too happy smile on his face. “Let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow’ll come too early. Always does.”

 

He stood and went to the bed on his side of the room.

 

Nora sat until she figured he’d fallen asleep. Her fingers had gone numb from the cold, her legs sore from sitting there.

 

How had she fucked things up so bad? Deacon’s smile had hurt worse than a curse would have.

 

Nora sighed and walked over to her bed, but paused.

 

The gift.

 

She took it out and gave in, opening the box.

 

Inside was a courser chip.


	8. Chapter 8

Diamond City spread out before Nora. She stood up in the stands, having crawled up despite the guards yelling at her. She’d ignored them, at least after flipping them off.

 

She liked the stands, being able to sit up there, watch over the city like some faraway place, like she wasn’t a part of it all.

 

Deacon had gone to eat, and Nora needed some peace and quiet. She had the schematic Tom had come up with tucked into her pocket.

 

“Pretty view.”

 

Nora turned around to find Finn staring not at the view, but at her. “I’ve seen better.”

 

“I haven’t.” He smiled and walked up behind her, setting his hands on the railing on each side of her, caging her in. He leaned in, his lips beside her ear. “I missed you.”  

 

“Didn’t seem too happy the last time I left.”

 

He shrugged. “Tempers run hot. Did you open my gift?”

 

“I did. How did you get it?”

 

“Normally people say thank you.” He nipped at her neck, a tiny punishment. “I got it the normal way. A few well placed bullets in a courser then a little digging.”

 

“Why? Why do that for me? Coursers aren’t exactly puppies, it was a hell of a risk.”

 

“Nah, sweetheart, he was a pushover. No big deal.”

 

Nora thought back to the limp he’d had when he’d given her the box. Bullshit. “Thank you,” she whispered.

 

Finn laughed and pressed a kiss to her neck. “You’re welcome. Does it buy me anything?”

 

“Is there anything I’m not already giving you?”

 

He reached around her, slipped his hand up her shirt. “Stay the night with me.”

 

“No.”

 

“Why not?” He brushed his thumbs against her nipples. “Scared?”

 

“That isn’t us.”

 

“Why couldn’t it be? What’s stopping us?”

 

“I can’t do this.”

 

Finn turned her around, tilted her head up until she looked at him. “Why not? Come on, tell me, talk to me.”

 

“Because if I stay with you it makes it real, and this can’t be real.”

 

His face hardened. Seemed someone didn’t like that answer. He yanked her pants down, off one leg. Nora didn’t fight it, even helped. He didn’t bother to remove his own pants, just unzipped them enough to pull himself out.

 

“Let me show you exactly how real this is,” he snarled into her ear as he sat her ass on the ledge and shoved in.

 

Nora clawed her nails into him, holding on. If he let her go, she could topple down to the next set of seats, and even though she doubted he had any plans of letting go, she clung.

 

“You feel how real it is now?” He held her ass, pulling her forward into each thrust, so deep she whimpered. “Nothing to say?”

 

He tried to kiss her, but Nora turned her head away, avoided his lips. He tightened his grip on her and drove harder.

 

Time drifted by, him punishing her with his body, peppering bites along her neck. She never loosened her grip, just tried to get closer, to wrap more of herself around him. She pretended, for a minute, that things were different.

 

They were lovers, just two people. Neither fought for an upper hand, they didn’t try to tear each other apart. Then he dug his fingers into her skin hard enough she gasped, and it was broken.

 

He finished, and he never let her fall. He eased her down to the seats, to safety, before he left her.

 

Nora thought he’d tried to talk to her, but she wasn’t sure. She wasn’t listening. Eventually she was alone, again.

 

#

 

Nora and Deacon went back to Goodneighbor a week later. Daisy had the best stock, and they needed a medical grade magnet. Deacon was quiet, unusual for the spy, but Nora chalked it up to him sensing her mood. She hadn’t gotten her feet back under her.

 

Would she ever?

 

They went their own ways after meeting with Daisy, and Nora found herself walking the alleyways again, like she always seemed to do. No one even questioned her anymore, like she’d become just another piece of trash that littered the tiny city.

 

A body shoved into Nora, and her face struck the bricks, the sharp points cutting into her skin. A hand on her neck kept her still.  “Finn?”  

 

A laughed behind her froze her. “No, not Finn. Sorry.”

 

“What are you doing, Deacon?”

 

Deacon pressed his lips to her neck, a cold touch that she struggled away from. “Is this what you needed? What you didn’t get from me?”

 

“Stop it.” She tried to shove away from the wall but he held her still. She forgot how strong he was.

 

“I followed you in Diamond City. I saw you with him, in the stands. What does he have? What magic does he do that makes you keep running back to him?”

 

Nora wanted to cry. Deacon wasn’t this man, and she heard it in his voice, felt it in the quiver of his hands. She’d pushed him to his. “This isn’t you.”

 

“No, it’s not, but it’s you, right? That’s what he does, that’s what you want?” His hand gripped her hip and pulled her against him.

 

But she felt nothing. He wasn’t hard.

 

“Knock this off, Deacon. You aren’t going to fuck me against this wall.”  

 

He laid his head against her shoulder, and for a moment she thought he might be crying. “You’re right, and that’s why you don’t want me, because that isn’t me, won’t ever be me.”

 

He let her go and stepped backward. He wouldn’t meet her eyes, staring at the ground.

 

“I’m sorry.” Nora reached for him, but he pulled away.

 

“Why him?”

 

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

 

“He’s going to get you killed. You know that, right?”

 

Yeah, she knew it. Somewhere in her head, she knew whatever they had was going nowhere good. “Come on, let’s head back.”

 

They made it to the end of the alleyway before she ran into Finn.

 

He tilted Nora’s head up, to see the scratches on her cheek. His fingers gripped her chin hard enough she winced. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing.” She wouldn’t meet his gaze.

 

His eyes darted over to Deacon, and whatever he saw there must have confirmed it. The next thing she knew, Finn was on top of Deacon.

 

They went down together. Finn was larger, but Deacon was wily. Each landed hits, blood coating the ground in fat droplets.

 

Nora pulled her pistol and shot the ground beside them. Chips of pavement struck both men.

 

They had the good sense to stop.

 

“This is insane. Knock it off.”

 

Finn laughed, getting off Deacon. “Not the first time you’ve shot at me, sweetheart.”

 

“You don’t deserve her,” Deacon spat.

 

“No argument here. She could do a hell of a lot better than either of us.”

 

“Stop it, both of you,” Nora hissed. “Deacon, go to the statehouse, Finn go the fuck home. This is over, now. I’m not a chew toy you two can yank on.”

 

Deacon dusted off his pants, picked up his sunglasses, now bent and useless. “That’s it. You made your bed, Nora, I hope you like laying in it.” Deacon stormed off, slamming the statehouse door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

Nora pressed the rag to Finn’s bleeding lip. She wished she had ice, like they would have had in the old days, but she could only do what she could do.

 

Finn all but ignored her. He held the bottle in his hand, managing to drink it despite her attempts to clean him up. He didn’t fuss at her, didn’t seem to even notice her.

 

“Do you need a stimpack?”

 

He laughed. “Nah. Stimpack won’t fix this.”

 

Nora set the rag down. “What do you want from me?”

 

“The fact you even need to ask me that says a lot, don’t it?”

 

“Don’t play games with me.”

 

“That’s all we fucking do, sweetheart, we play games. I’m so sick of games. You want the truth? Jesus, Nora, I fucking love you!” Her name on his lips felt strange, the first time he’d ever uttered it. “I’d do anything for you, but it’ll never be enough. I know I screwed it up, I started us off wrong, and now the poison is in too deep. Can’t dig it out, can’t cut it out.”

 

Nora looked down at her hands. “So what do you want from me?”

 

He grabbed her face, his fingers so tight it almost hurt. “I want you to love me, just for tonight. For one god damned night, love me. No games, none of this shit we do to each other, just love me and let me love you, too. Let us pretend we started this out right, that maybe we could have that picket fence, yeah?”

 

Right then, Nora wanted that too. She wrapped her arms behind his neck and kissed him, the way they’d always avoided, the way that he’d wanted but she’d never let him. She threw aside all the bullshit, all the reasons this was bad, all the twisted shit they let clutter it, and just felt.

 

He didn’t push her, didn’t hurt her, didn’t use his words like weapons. He dipped his tongue into her mouth, tasted her, kissed her like he’d never get enough.

 

Finn took her hand and pulled her to the bedroom. He stripped her of her clothing, kissing each inch of revealed skin like it was the first time they’d done this, like they could erase everything that had happened before that moment. Before Nora knew it they were both naked, tangled in the bed, and he’d driven away all the demons of their past.

 

“I always wanted you like this,” he whispered to her skin as he worshiped her body. He didn’t play her, didn’t try to make her come just to prove he could, he just loved her.

 

By the time he slid into her, Nora was moaning, a mess who wanted nothing more than his touch. He kissed her while he moved, slow, deep thrusts, leisurely, like they had all fucking night, like nothing mattered except that moment between them.

 

“Tell me you love me. Even if it’s a lie, Nora, just tell me this one time.”

 

Nora licked her tongue across his lips. “I love you,” she whispered to him, no fucking idea if it was a lie or not.

 

Finn shuddered above her as he came, his chest thundering, his breath hard. He pulled her against him like he had the night he asked her to stay. He kissed her head and whispered, “I love you, too,” so quietly, she wondered if she was supposed to hear it at all.


	10. Chapter 10

Nora had left Finn when the sun had started to rise. He was sleeping off a hang-over, and likely a hell of a headache from Deacon’s sucker punch. He didn’t rouse at all when she slipped from the bed, when she dressed, not even when she left the warehouse.

 

“You seen D?”

 

Hancock looked up from his spot on his couch. “Took off middle of the night. Asked me to tell you he had some urgent business, he’ll see you back at HQ, but it might take a while. Suggested you take someone else with you.”

 

Of course he had. He’d run. There was no sugar coating that, no pretending there was really urgent business. He’d left her, in the middle of the night.

 

The night she’d spent in Finn’s bed.

 

Guess she didn’t have room to be angry.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“So you looking for company?” He played with his knife, rolling it over his knuckles. “I’m free, and I could always use a bit of extra trouble.”

 

“He asked you to look out for me, didn’t he?”

 

Hancock grinned. “You know Deacon, he’s a paranoid bastard. Said something about Finn getting you killed, and he wanted to make sure you had someone watching you back. Well, someone who wasn’t going to mount it at least. I like ‘em feisty, but you’re a bit too much for me.”

 

Nora shook her head. “Thanks, but I think I’ll pass. You’re a bad influence on me. I always end up high around you.”

 

He shrugged, throwing an arm over the back of the couch. “Alright, fine. Take care of yourself, though. You get hurt, Deacon will start dressing like me, next.”

 

#

 

Finn was standing by the gate before Nora reached it. “Morning.”

 

Nora shoved him hard enough he stumbled back into the wall, probably more a show of his surprise than her strength. “You just had to fuck it up, didn’t you?”

 

Finn righted himself, pulling up to his full height. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

 

Nora jammed a finger at the gate. “Deacon left!”

 

“Not my fault, sweetheart. He left because he wants you and can’t have you. I’ve got nothing to do with that.”

 

“Before I met you, I had my shit together.”

 

“You think? Because it sure didn’t look like it when you walked in here the first time.”

 

“Fuck you, Finn. I never should have come here, never should have kept coming back here. I’m done, I can’t do this anymore.”

 

Finn grabbed her arms, holding even as she struggled. “You can’t just walk out like that. You’ll be back, you’re always back.”

 

Nora yanked from him. “Just try me.”

 

#

 

Nora walked for hours. The sun dipped behind the mountains, darkness taking the streets. She ran into the occasional raider, a group of ferals. Nothing challenging, nothing that made her feel.

 

She’d driven away Deacon. Sure, she didn’t love him, not like she suspected he loved her, but they’d been friends. And Finn? They weren’t anything. She had nothing left. She’d lost everything a second time.

 

And wouldn’t you know? She ended up in front of Goodneighbor, again. She sighed, staring at the sign. She’d always end up back here, wouldn’t she? It didn’t matter what she did, whatever pull she had with Finn was stronger than anything else. All the good reasons she had to run, they disappeared in the face of what she wanted.

 

“So why’d you come back?” Finn’s voice came from her left, and she spotted him sitting on an old car.

 

“I think I’ll always come back.”

 

He nodded, patting the space beside him. “I’m sorry about Deacon.”

 

“It’s not just him. It’s everything. It all just keeps slipping away from me.” She took the spot beside him. They didn’t touch, sitting close but miles apart. “Can’t keep hold of a fucking thing.”

 

“’cept me.”

 

She laughed. “yeah, ‘cept you.”

 

“Look, Nora-“

 

A beeping silenced them both. Certain sounds had burned into Nora’s mind after so many months in the commonwealth. The clicking of radroaches, the roar of deathclaws, and the beeping of a super mutant suicider.

 

Finn grabbed her arm, eyes darting toward Goodneighbor’s gate, judging distance. The super mutant was too close, coming too fast.

 

Nora pulled her pistol and aimed, the right arm, where the nuke was strapped.

 

“We’re too close,” Finn hissed.

 

“You got any better options?”

 

Finn growled, hauling Nora off the car and against the wall, covering her body with his. “Take the fucking shot already.”

 

Nora squeezed the trigger and everything went black.


	11. Chapter 11

Nora woke in Dr. Amari’s lab once.

 

“Finn?”

 

The Doctor leaned over her. “He was okay. Took a few stitches, some stimpacks, but he’s fine.”

 

“Where is he?”

 

“He doesn’t like doctors, I’m afraid. Took off as soon as he could rip out the IV. You hit your head pretty hard, though, so I wanted to keep you overnight.”

 

Nora frowned, looking around at the empty room.

 

Darkness took her again.

 

#

 

Nora woke, slowly, her body sore. She tried to touch her head, but something stopped her.

 

Handcuffs. She forced her eyes to open, to take in the handcuffs that restrained her to a bed.

 

“Remember this place?” Finn sat on a chair at the foot of the bed. “This is the room it all started in. This is the room I screwed everything up in.”

 

“Let me go,” she said, mouth dry.

 

“I will, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. Dr. Amari might hurt me when she realizes I sprung you early, but that doesn’t matter much.” He leaned forward, his face a mess of things he probably didn’t want her to see. Pain, worry, regret. “You know, I’ve thought about that night a lot. I never did anything like that before, don’t know why it was that night I did. I tell myself, I say, I would have stopped. If you’d been scared, if you’d have seemed upset, I woulda stopped and let you go. But, hell, who knows? Maybe I’m just stroking my own ass with that story, trying to think I’m better than I am.”

 

“You’re scaring me.”

 

He smiled, that lop-sided grin that said she was being stupid. “I told you, I won’t hurt you. Just figured, this place means something. I’m not a good man. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that. I’ve never had anything of my own, anything I could be proud of. You though, you I was proud of.” He lit a cigarette and set it between his lips. “I don’t think I’m even the same person. Whatever you are, you dig in deep, you change a person. I want things I never wanted, things I never thought about before. Hell, I think, if I could fix it all, I’d want that picket fence we talked about. I’d want a handful of brats and a farm and the whole fucking fairytale. But that aint going to happen, is it?”

 

Nora didn’t respond, only watched Finn flick ash on the floor.

 

“Nah, it isn’t. We’ll just keep doing this shit, over and over. Even after everything, you were headed back, weren’t you? You were at the gates because even after you swore you were done, you were coming back to me. That’s why you almost died, because I drove away your friends, because I drove you away. It was my fault. Now, me? I’m fine with a few new scars, hell, I think I’d let you slit my throat and die with a smile on my face. But I can’t watch you drown, and that’s exactly what this is, it’s a fucking riptide and it’s gonna drown you. Neither of us are strong enough to escape it, to just stay the hell away from each other.”

 

“If you kill yourself here, I swear I’ll castrate the remains.”

 

He laughed. “You say the sweetest things. No, I aint going to off myself, not here at least. I told you, I won’t watch you drown and I won’t be the one to push you under. I wouldn’t leave that shit on your doorstep. No, but I am leaving.”

 

“Where?”

 

He shrugged. “I’ve got some friends out west. They’ve got a place, some plans, a boss who’s trying to get raiders gangs to work together. Hell, it’s probably a longshot, but I need to get out of here.”

 

“Can’t we fix this?”

 

He shook his head. “Nothing to fix. Whatever this is, it’s bad for you, and I’m tired of pouring poison down your throat. Fuck, sweetheart, I don’t even deserve you. When I think of that first night. . .” He trailed off and looked away. “Look, maybe, someday, maybe we’ll be new people and start new fucking lives and who the fuck knows. But, for now?” He flicked the cigarette into the ashtray on the table. “For now, I’m gonna go.”

 

Nora yanked at the cuffs.

 

“Nicky’s in the third rail. I’ll let him know where you are, and he’ll come let you out in a bit, give me a head start.”

 

Finn walked over, then leaned down. “How about a kiss, pretty girl? Ain’t gonna force you this time.”

 

Nora leaned up and captured his lips, resuming her struggles when he pulled away too soon. “Don’t do this,” she pleaded, but he walked toward the door.

 

He stopped, just inside the room, looking around like the place was suddenly interesting and different. “You know, I think this room is cursed. Worst days of my life happened in this fucking room.” He let out a hollow laugh. “Take care of yourself, sweetheart.”

 

#

 

Nora looked for a week, but found no sign of Finn. She should have known, the bastard could cover his tracks when he wanted.

 

“I’m sorry, Doll.” Nick didn’t say much else about it, didn’t chastise her, just gave her what help he could. Even he didn’t have a clue, though. No one had seen Finn, no one knew where he’d gone. What he’d told her wasn’t enough to follow, and she couldn’t go traipsing out of the Commonwealth when she still had to deal with the institute.

 

And Deacon? She hadn’t seen him since that day in Goodneighbor. Dez would talk about him, as if nothing had changed, but he was never there when she returned.

 

“It’s okay. He was right, we were. . . bad for each other.” She shrugged, thinking of the pain on Finn’s face. Yeah, they managed to hurt each other pretty damned well.

 

“What’ll you do now?”

 

Nora gripped schematics for the transporter, still in her pocket. “I’ll keep moving forward.”

 

Finn’s words echoed in her head: ‘Look, maybe, someday, maybe we’ll be new people and start new fucking lives and who the fuck knows.’

 

Maybe. Someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of part one. I'm tempted to return to them, "someday" in Nuka-World, because I'd love to give them some sort of happy ending, and maybe they will have grown up a bit by then. We'll see.


End file.
